Mario Siblings
by JadedNobody
Summary: Mario's younger siblings has always wanted to be like him. In heroics. In perception. She wanted to be seen as manly and heroically as her brother.
1. Preface

It was a day just like any other in the mushroom kingdom. The temperature was not too hot nor too cold. The skies above were blue and the clouds decorated the atmosphere like whipped cream. It was on this day like any other that the Mario Brothers received the usual invitation from Peach for tea time.

The plumber duo trolled along the brick road leading to the capital. The siblings were so intimate with one another no words were needed on this trek. They just basked in this domestic scene and enjoyed the peace.

It should not have felt like any other day for the plumbers. It was nearing the end of the month. This was a time that the green plumber always closely observed. However in a nearly two month reprieve from fighting Bowser, the younger's vigilance relaxed. It was until the heroes sat for tea with the Princess that time of the month occurred to Luigi.

"I need to go," Luigi blurted out before sprinting away. The green hero was so hasty that he knocked over his chair.

"Mario?" Peach knew Luigi had some eccentricities but this one was out of character. Luigi was far too socially anxious to be that rude.

"Uhm," it suddenly occurred to Mario what time of the month it was. "Stay here while I go check in on Luigi."

The red plumber paced himself as quickly as he could without it being a run. He could only imagine the looks Peach was giving him and what she was thinking.

"Luigi!" Mario's nervous voice bounced off the halls.

Mario knew Luigi would be heading towards Peach's private restroom. His face burnt red as he hoped Peach wasn't following behind. He knew the way around these halls by heart after so many years.

"Luigi!" Mario repeated his call as he rounded about his destination.

"Here!" Luigi responded while Mario released the breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"It's just you, right?"

"The Princess is still in the tea room wondering what happened." Mario said while gaining his breath.

"We can just say I'm sick." Luigi said as Mario's tired gaze met the door.

"Or you could just tell Peach the truth!" The red plumber knew what the reaction would be but just had to say it.

"Mario, you promised to help keep my secret." Luigi's fright caused his voice to rise several octaves.

"It would just be Princess Peach. I'm sure she can keep a secret too," Mario reasoned.

"You know what they say about how three people can keep a secret." Luigi countered as Mario took in a deep breath.

"Lucy-"

"SHHHHH! SOMEONE COULD HEAR!"

"But they will hear that one day," Mario waited a beat for silence. "I gave you my word as your big brother to always keep your secret, but it's been years at this point. I understand this started off as you trying to be like me, but at this point you've carved out your own identity. What's the need for the facade?"

Mario heard Lucy shift uncomfortably.

"I've carved out an identity as Luigi, Mario's brother. Not Lucy, Mario's sister." Mario could see the brick wall coming.

"I'll go back to Peach."

"Thank you," Lucy said. She was grateful for the solitude.

Lucy lingered in the lavatory for several minutes after that. She emerged with her heart heavy from Mario's words. She was beginning to realize that he was right; they had been hiding the truth for years at this point. She slouched back to tea room.

A mirror made her pause. Lucy realized in all these years she couldn't remember the last time she had seen herself without her faux mustache. The plumber always was so meticulous in making sure the artificial hair seemed as natural as possible.

Lucy took a quick look around. Mario's words and her own curiosity possessing her. She enacted the procedure to take the piece off. She pinched it against her skin and started peeling it off. Her skin went red with irritation before fading.

Without the mustache she was still convincingly male. She prodded her fingers around her lips to confirm the disappearance of the piece that had become natural to wear. Her face did have a decidedly androgynous appearance now.

"I guess I'm just a very masculine girl," Lucy said aloud to herself. She chuckled at her joke before her eyes caught sight of another figure in the mirror. She turned and her heart stopped.

Standing before her was one of the many Toads that were employed in the castle staff. He stared at her the way a child would at a television screen. Neither said a word.

Lucy nor the Toad had any idea of what to do. The Toad then realized why. That's because the Princess comes up with the ideas. Lucy's eyes widened as she tried to say something but it was too late for her to get a word in edgewise.

"PRINCESS! LUIGI TOOK OFF HIS MUSTACHE AND SAID HE WAS A GIRL!" Lucy had no doubt the entire castle heard that. Lucy's body was shooting towards the castle exit as the Toad ran off to the tea room.


	2. Chapter 1

"PRINCESS! LUIGI TOOK OFF HIS MUSTACHE AND SAID HE WAS A GIRL!" Peach and Mario both nearly coughed up their tea.

Peach turned towards the scream in confusion and Mario in expectant dread. The little Toad ran in panting not a few moments after. Peach set her tea aside and moved to inspect the Toad. She wondered if Bowser had done something to the water.

"I'm sorry my dear, but could you elaborate?" Mario cherished the few moments of silence he was going to be permitted.

"It's like I said," the Toad started as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I came here because the chefs asked me to see if you wanted anything else. That was when I saw Luigi in front of a mirror with his mustache in his hand talking about how he was a girl." The Toad beamed at the princess, proud he could deliver such vital information. Peach just gawked at him getting no impression of dishonesty.

Even with his face in his palm Mario knew when Peach started waiting for him to answer.

"It's true," Mario felt great relief in his chest and a large weight settle in his mind. "My brother Luigi is actually my sister Lucy."

"Leave us for a moment," Peach said to the Toad.

"No, not right now," Mario said as he got up.

"Mario I-"

"Princess, please I need to go find Lucy. Later I promise," Mario saw sadness, confusion, and hurt in her eyes as he passed.

The sun was unbearable as Mario trotted down the road home. He fanned himself with his cap to no avail. His waterfall of sweat actually succeeded in taking his mind off what was to come.

"Lucy," he said softly as he knocked on the door. A minute of silence passed. Mario reached into his pockets for the key.

"Lucy," he said again as he stepped inside. He knew where Lucy was if she was home. "I hoped you'd outgrow this habit."

On her bed, Lucy had buried herself under blankets and pillows. The protruding mass gave her away. The younger plumber was motionless, hoping danger and trouble hunted by motion and would go away if she just kept still.

"It's just me. Will you please come out? Trust me, I want to be in bed too." Lucy reluctantly came out at that.

"Who knows?" Lucy wrapped her blanket around her shoulders.

"As of right now, just Peach and the Toad."

"Didn't you ask Peach to keep the whole thing a secret!?"

"That would be something you have to do," Mario replied curtly. "Besides, I'm sure that more than a few staff members heard that shout. And why should Peach have to play along?"

"You said we should bring her in on the secret," Lucy's eyes were glassy. "Why is it wrong now?"

"Because of how she found out and the fact you ran away instead of staying to explain."

"What did you tell her?" Lucy pulled the blanket over her head.

"Nothing." Mario plopped himself down next to his sister.

"She didn't have questions?" Lucy peered at him confused from under her hood.

"She did but I asked for a rain check so I could come find you."

"So what now?"

"We talk about it, sort out your fears, and you tell the truth," Mario said simply.

"Wh- Bu- I don't-" Lucy stammered, retreating back under the covers.

"You can't run from this. The cat's out of the bag. The revelation of your true sex won't change who you are."

"Yes it will! Peach seems hurt from what you said. And I can't even imagine what Daisy will feel when she finds out. I'll die!"

"Well, Maybe Daisy is bisexual Luigi."

"But I'm straight!" Lucy replied burning red.

"Well our friends are good people," Mario shifted. "They will understand."

"What, that your little sister idolized you so much she crossdressed to be more like you?" Lucy laid on her bed exhausted.

"Yes, idolization is something we can all relate to." Mario set his hand on Lucy comfortingly.

"Fine I'll go talk to Peach," Lucy resigned. "But can we do it in the morning?"

"Alright." Mario withdrew to his own room.

Neither plumber moved out of their space for the rest of the day. Both laid in bed too tired to sleep. Mario managed to get some rest by night, but Lucy was restless still.

It was a red eyed Lucy that shuffled out of bed to make breakfast. After smelling the aroma of the food Mario made his way into the kitchen. He then checked the mailbox while waiting for the food to be prepared, picking up today's newspaper.

Lucy heard something between a sigh and a groan from her brother as he sat at the table.

"What is it?" Mario just held the paper out for her.

"MARIO'S YOUNGER BROTHER OR YOUNGER SISTER? LUIGI OUTED AS A TRANSVESTITE"

The article cited a major rumor circling through the castle staff that Luigi is a cross dresser. The major draw was Peach's refusal to comment citing she didn't possess the facts and was waiting for the Mario Bros. themselves to make a statement. Both plumbers were glad they kept their address secret at times like these.

"What are we going to do?"

"Go to Princess Peach and tell the truth," Mario said simply.

"N-no," Lucy was hysterical. "I won't do that!" The green plumber rushed to her room.

"Lucy!" Mario called out as he quickly trailed behind.

Mario entered Lucy's room to see her setting much of her wardrobe on her bed. She was amassing a collection of items hurriedly.

"Lucy are you really going to run away?" his sister didn't respond. "Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. It only makes it worse."

"Maybe, but I know that I can't stay," Lucy stared at Mario regretfully.

"What am I supposed to do?" The elder's voice had a hint of anger and disappointment at being saddled with this.

"I can't ask you for any favors after making you keep my secret for so long. Please tell Peach the truth because I'll be leaving."

"Lucy," his sister braced as if expecting a strike. "Come back when you feel ready."

"That's it?"

"I'm not going to force you to stay. I'm going to do what I think is right and you do the same."

Lucy felt horrible at her brother's casual dismissal of her flight. That was almost enough to shame Lucy into staying. Almost.

"I'll be back soon."

"I'm going to rip the bandage off quickly. You take whatever you want before you go." Lucy's stomach dropped at her brother not seeing her off.

She could only mutter a thanks as she went back to packing. Mario didn't say goodbye as he exited. The green plumber paused to bury her head in blankets.

After an eternity there she resumed her packing. The siblings had a philosophy of packing light. Lucy took what she needed and finished.

The green plumber slung her bags over her shoulder and snuck out of the house, as if somebody was waiting to pounce. She took a long look at the road and scuttled in a direction away from civilization.


	3. Chapter 2

Mario ran the distance to Peach's palace faster than he thought possible. The random citizens loitering around gawked at him. A few asked him questions but he was so focused that he honestly didn't even notice.

He did notice Waluigi though.

"It's not true is it?" Mario took bit of Waluigi's features. He looked panicked as if he just realized he left his stove on.

"What's not true?" neither knew why Mario bothered asking that.

"Is Luigi your brother or sister!?" A crowd lined behind the purple villain waiting for an answer.

Mario mulled over it. His first instinct was to give no comment. That is until he realized it wouldn't matter since Lucy wouldn't be home when he got back. Spite and exasperation guided him.

"I only have a sister. No brothers," Mario replied like Waluigi asked for the time.

That was enough to send the entire crowd into a frenzy. Toads whispered to one another. Many tried to shout over the din to ask questions.

Mario worried Waluigi had a heart attack after hearing those words. The man looked so pitiful Mario moved to help him lie down. Waluigi just turned mechanically and made his way out of sight.

Mario flinched at a thunderous laugh. Behind him was Wario. His evil doppelgänger was clearly loving every minute of this.

"The look on your faces!" he choked out. The yellow plumber fell to his knees gasping for breath.

"Shut it Wario, this isn't about you!"

That, oddly enough, made the yellow plumber freeze. A look of pure horror crept on his face. Wario went dizzy from surrealness. He took a scanning look at the crowd and ran off.

Mario shrugged, glad to have one less problem to worry about, and steeled himself for the inevitable. The red plumber wadded through the crowd like a fish against the current.

"Did you force Luigi to cross dress for the Mario Bros. brand?"

"Is Luigi a depraved lesbian who simply wanted male attention?"

"Does Luigi have gender issues?"

"Did Luigi think she would get more attention and fame as the opposite sex?"

Mario found himself in an oasis between palace guards and the door. This reprieve ended the moment he walked into the doors. Toad staff were there to escort the red plumber right to the princess.

"It's alright you can leave us," Peach ordered the guards.

"It's true," Mario got straight to the point.

"Luigi is female?"

"Yes."

"Why the deceit?"

"Lucy grew up idolizing me and wanted to imitate me."

"That's it?" Peach's brow furrowed. "Your sibling was that desperate to emulate you?"

"I'm afraid so. Lucy begged me for years to keep the truth under wraps, but here we are," Mario's sad voice croaked.

Peach walked to the far end of the room. She was confused, but visibly sad. Peach took a seat at the tea table where this whole mess started.

"Mario, sit." The red plumber approached cautiously.

"For years you two have deceived me. You both swore eternal loyalty to me as my personal knights. Did you really believe Lucy's true sex would have mattered?"

"No, and for years I knew this day was coming despite Lucy's best efforts."

"You were also the elder Mario, you shouldn't have entertained your sister's unhealthy delusion. I understand how clingy and desperate Lucy can get but you were suppose to be the elder who forced the younger to do the right thing, even if the younger is kicking and screaming."

" It's all my fault. Lucy begged me and it was just so hard to say no."

"Here's what happens going forward. You and I are taking a break," Mario's heart stopped, Peach's eyes were glassy. "I will assuage the people and repair your reputations, but you must go talk to Daisy and explain the lie to her."

"Princess-"

"When Daisy called to ask why people were questioning her on this news story she knew nothing about, I promised that you and/or Lucy would come personally to explain this if something was amiss. I've known your sister for years, despite not knowing her true sex, and her cowardly nature will always be a constant. Did your sister leave the Mushroom Kingdom rather than face the fallout?"

Mario didn't say anything. Peach went to the cupboard for some tea and biscuits. The two wordlessly enjoyed the elevenses that was supposed to be innocuous.


	4. Chapter 3

"I'm here to see the Princess of Sarasaland." Mario was quickly admitted, Daisy was expecting him.

Mario had never been to Daisy's castle. This thought struck him as he quickly ushered to the princess. He was unable to take in any of the architecture as oceans of sweat poured. Mario realized the noise of humming machines meant the castle was air conditioned and he wondered how long the walk actually was.

His mind was finally taken off the interview just as Daisy met the entourage. Mario also wondered for the first time how Daisy was so pale, was not Sarasaland a desert?

"How are you so pale?"

"My parents kept me locked in the castle all day studying and under their watch," Daisy's voice held a twinge of disgust.

"Is it true? The initial story and Peach's statements to the press."

"Can you be more specific? I have no idea how the story might have mutated."

"Is Luigi a girl, firstly? Then is what Peach said true?! That Luigi is actually Lucy who had penis envy of her brother and is now hiding who knows where now that her game is up!"

"It was hero worship, not 'penis envy'."

"So it's true," Daisy's voice a thick whisper. "All this time I've been having dinners and dates with a depraved lesbian," Daisy's hand went to her head as she swooned from a massive headache. Several attendants rushed forward before Daisy shooed them away to give her and Mario privacy.

"Lucy's not a lesbian."

"So this was all a game of pretend for a little girl who never grew up! I was never anything to Lucy but the placeholder princess in a rousing story! A platform for her to believe she was her brother!"

"Lu- you know what yes!" Daisy recoiled, she never heard of Mario losing his cool before.

"Lucy thought of you as a friend, but she did use you. Lucy was so obsessed with being me that she used you like an accessory, I am sorry. It's also my fault for not just outing Lucy. You have every right to be mad at me, for helping to hide the truth, and at Lucy, for running away and tricking you."

Daisy took a calming breath and Mario thought for a moment she was understanding.

"For years Luigi has helped me work through my insecurities. Peach is thought to be my best friend, she even acts like we are, but we never spent much time with one another unless one of the Mario _Bros._ were there. And when we did Peach always prattled on about herself and always led conversation. I half suspect I was just a fancy Toad to her. She never bothers to visit me in Sarasaland and didn't take me seriously enough to tell me the truth. She said, "I'll send Mario or Luigi." Peach was too wrapped up in her own problems to take me seriously. I was never anything but decoration."

Daisy just glared at Mario in simmering rage. She leaned against the wall slinking to the ground, too angry to even stand.

"And _you_. I had loved you the day when you rescued me. That small amount of time we spent together was very dear to me. Then, I meet Lui- no Lucy. I believed I had found my true love but I was just a hand me down between siblings." Daisy cursed under her breath.

"Get out, but before you do. Tell your pink bitch that I'm done being her sloppy recreation and the friendship between us and our kingdoms is done. Then tell your green dyke sister that I never want to see her again," tears were streaming down Daisy's face. Her heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

"Daisy, Lucy-" Mario motioned towards Daisy.

"Never had a cock just like she never loved me, hmmmm."

Daisy erupted up and slapped Mario, hard. The red plumber could feel his teeth vibrate from the blow. He stumbled back on his rear and felt blood flow from his cracked lips.

"Get out!" Daisy's eyes were puffy, as were his since he had been hit. Snot and tear water was inseparable.

Mario turned and slunked out of the castle, Sarasaland, and Daisy's life.


	5. Chapter 4

Mario nursed his cheek. The flesh was turning bright crimson red, Daisy's hand print visually evident. Mario hadn't talked to Peach since last week, he would have to let her find about Daisy's rejection of them all on her own. She was, Peach called Daisy to see how Mario's talk went.

"Daisy, how are you?"

"You pink whore, what did I tell Mario?"

"What!?" No one had ever spoken to Peach like this.

"I'm done living in your shadow, never talk to me again." Daisy hung up.

Peach tried to call again but it was for naught, Daisy blocked her. The princess just dropped the phone to the ground and tried very hard not to cry.

Mario ignored the looks from the mushroom citizens. There were now two theories amongst the populace. Mario took advantage of Lucy's infatuation with him to create their brand, or Lucy was a deranged nut with gender dysphoria. Mario consoled himself that at least some good had come out of this. Waluigi was now going straight.

Waluigi had started advertising his new bank. The purple plumber had used what money he had "acquired" over the years to start the business. Mario recounted the meeting he had with him the other day.

"It's true," Mario said as soon as he walked in.

"Yes," Waluigi confirmed. "I can't be the evil counterpart to an identity that doesn't exist. So I am going straight and carving my own identity."

"I thought you said you were becoming banker?"

"Yes I did," Waluigi said unsurely.

"Then how are you going straight?" The two men laughed.

Waluigi's bank was quickly finding itself full of customers. Recently, Waluigi sponsored a sleuth of businesses that have hit the ground running. Waluigi was not flaunting his wealth around the city, his reform did curb his ego.

Wario had also gone straight, sort of. Mario's evil double had become jealous of all the attention Lucy received. His usual antics did not garner him attention anymore so he took to cross dressing of all things.

Now Wario does stand up at local clubs on the weekends, yes, in a mini skirt, wig, and effeminate voice. Mario tried getting a ticket out of morbid curiosity but every show had been sold out. Apparently, after initial interest faded, everyone agreed Wario was an amazing comedian. Now rumor has it even Peach is trying to get a ticket.

No one had heard from Bowser.

"Dad, when are we going to kidnap the princess again," Bowser Junior asked his father.

"When everyone stops being so weird. All this media attention around Luigi is ridiculous."

"Is Luigi really a girl?"

"Jr. you know the media can never be trusted they are all a bunch of liars. Now stop bothering me and let me watch my shows."

Mario had nothing to do but grieve. His sister was off who knows where as Daisy said.


	6. Chapter 5

Lucy knew where she was going. The green plumber set off in a direction as far away from civilization as possible. Yoshi's Island was the only oasis left for her. The Yoshis were the only ones who probably knew the truth, as they warded her and her brother as infants.

At the sight of her boat making landfall the denizens of the island crowded around her. Lucy was now being greeted by many old dinosaurs she barely remembered. Lucy, who knew Yoshi language, couldn't make anything out over the din.

"Everybody, please stop," She tried to raise her voice without sounding angry or frightened. It did the trick.

"Is it okay if I stay on the island for a while?" she asked shyly. A green Yoshi, the one who first rescued her brother Mario, stepped forward.

"You and Mario are welcomed here always. Where is the red man?"

"Back at the Mushroom kingdom. It's a long story."

"Okay, then, tell us later. I see you're no longer wearing that mustache." The Yoshis led her deep into the wilderness.

Lucy explained her tale over a lunch of fruits and lake water. The Yoshis never really knew she faked her gender. They all just thought she wore that mustache for fashion purposes. She was a strange baby.

"Lucy, I have to be honest I am disappointed that you left Mario to sort out your problems."

"I can't go back. I'm not a man to the Mushroom Kingdom so I'm nothing."

"Lucy, we personally ferried you to safety. You were not and never will be nothing. You and your twin are special."

"Mario's more special then."

The Yoshis sighed. They were tired of constantly dealing with Lucy's envy: it was heartbreaking and they all loved Lucy, but gets to a point where you just repeat the same conversation too many times.

"Explore the island. Why don't you take a few days for your mental constitution?" The eldest Yoshi among them said.

"I think I will," Lucy said in a small voice.

Yoshi's Island was a lush utopia for it dinosaur denizens. The trees all bloomed with fruit. The waters were crystal clear. The mountain peaks were perfectly capped with snow. It was a picturesque land.

Lucy couldn't enjoy any of it. She knew she couldn't and wouldn't. Every time she had been here it was with Mario. Her older brother who she left behind in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Each night she would climb into the bed inside the house the Mario siblings had built as a retreat here. She would try to sleep but fail. The effort would fire her out and she would descend into blackness.

In that void she saw Mario, Peach, and Daisy. They were sipping tea. All of them were burnt and weary.

"Every single day. I had to let Lucy tag along with me," Mario hissed. "If I wanted a solo adventure or time to myself I knew the moment I got home I would have to deal with Lucy's insecurities."

"To be honest with you Mario I only gave Lucy accolades out of courtesy since she was there with you." Peach sipped her tea. She was more annoyed than anything.

"This puts everything into perspective for me." Daisy slammed a fist onto the table, spilling tea.

"I always thought Lucy was a little childish with her grandiose gestures, trying way too hard to treat me like a fairy tale princess. However I now see she wasn't childish, she was a child. Even if her feelings were sexually and romantically genuine, I wouldn't want her. Lucy was a pathetic soul who thought being with me would put her closer to her dream of being you, Mario."

"Maybe It's time to just give up," Mario rubbed his eyes. "I did everything I could now it's time to let Lucy handle her own demons for once instead of hiding behind me."

"I can't let her in good faith continue to be a champion of the Mushroom Kingdom."

"I'm just going to kill her."

"Have at it," Mario replied.

Lucy would try to start screaming. No words would come out. She couldn't move, locked totally into place. After what felt like an eternity of thrashing she would jolt awake in bed.

The green plumber wasn't getting any better, she knew it. She sought out the Yoshis for company. Often they would just laze about or be hiking up the mountains and walking through the forest.

This went on for days. Lucy's emotions were frozen by this. It stopped her from spiraling but it prevented her from feeling better.

"Lucy there's someone we would like you to meet." The elder Yoshi said after days of this pattern.

"Who?"

"Someone who has some common ground with you."

"There's a Yoshi going through what I am?"

"Not a Yoshi, but she does understand not being comfortable with herself. Do you remember Birdo?"

"From all the kart races and party games?" The strange pink dinosaur thing always kind of creeped Lucy out.

"Would you be willing to speak to her?" Lucy considered this. The Yoshis clearly were trying to help and deserved a break.

"Sure, when?"

"Now. Wait here." The Yoshi flocked out. Lucy waited politely with her anxiety. She was afraid to make herself vulnerable to someone she barely knew. Especially after being publicly outed.

Birdo was an anomaly that lost attention after you phased her into the background, you occasionally remembered how queer she was. Birdo might be a Yoshi, maybe not. The only thing truly known about her is her gender isn't her sex. She seemed nice, in the way that you wanted something nice to say about her since you don't want to be mean.

"Hey, Lucy," the plumber whipped around. The pink dinosaur didn't come from the direction the Yoshis scuttled off to. It seems the Yoshis either trusted Birdo to handle this or really wanted a break.

"Hi, Birdo. It's nice to see you, it's been awhile since the last go karting tournament."

"Yeah, heard what happened." Lucy always wondered why Birdo didn't even try to modify her voice to sound feminine. Her voice could serve as the bass in an orchestra.

"Yeah," Lucy reciprocated. She flushed red prepping for the incoming disappointment. It didn't come.

"Don't feel too bad about it."

"But I just abandoned Mario to deal with th it all!" She frowned in confusion. She couldn't handle being left behind by Mario when he simply wanted alone time.

"Well he doesn't have to do that," Birdo pointed out. "Your actions are your own to answer for. Mario can just tell people the truth to make what they may of it."

"I guess." Lucy looked off in shame. She knew Mario wouldn't just do that. The knowledge he was willingly letting himself be dragged through the mud made her feel even worse.

"Anyway man- I mean woman, you want to come back to my place to play video games?"

"You have power out here?"

"How else would I watch my Soaps? Get your things girl, we gonna have a sleepover." Birdo jumped up and down, her bow dancing with gravity.

The blueprints for Birdo's house was taken straight from a teenage girl's head. Actually no, it was a prepubescent girl's idea of what a teenage girl's dream house was. Everything was pink and fuzzy. Cute bunnies, puppies, and kittens decorated everything. There was more perfume than oxygen in the air. The closet was the biggest room in the house, even though nobody wears more than one outfit at the most.

Lucy would use the surrealness as an internal excuse for why she was losing right now.

"**Winner!**" The television announced. Birdo's character did the victory animation while Lucy's did a polite golf clap.

"So Birdo," Lucy began as another round loaded.

"Hmmm?" Lucy wondered again how Birdo speaks when her mouth is just a gaping cavity.

"How long can I stay for?"

"As long as you need," Birdo said casually.

"I can't do that. Let me pay you for lodging at least. I brought some money with me from home." It was enough for a room if Lucy had decided Yoshi's Island wasn't the oasis she needed.

"Nah, girl it's cool. We are just hanging out after all." Lucy didn't insist anymore after that. She did cook Birdo her meals, cleaned her house, and helped her run errands.

"How is there a grocery store on Yoshi's Island?" For the surprising modern installments road weren't one of them. They trekked through the wild woods, the branches were so thick the had to manually part them.

"Not all Yoshis are satisfied living in the wild. I say about a quarter like the house, the front yard, TV, the whole deal."

"Good morning," the clerk greeted as programmed. He did a double take when he saw her.

"Lucy!?" A hole opened up in her when she saw the papers on sale. Particularly their headlines:

"Mario depressed from being dumped by his sister Lucy and lover Peach?"

"Princess Peach cutting back on public appearances"

"What you need to know about the Empress of Sarasaland's return from her diplomatic world tour"

"Will Princess Daisy's transformation into Empress Margaret shift the balance of power?"

"Donkey Kong mad no one asked for his opinion on all of this"

"Waluigi named the year's leading entrepreneur"

"Big Barda's stand up break sales records"

"Princess Peach opens Disney World Mushroom Kingdom for the public and Turtles!?"

"Bowser goes to Disney World Mushroom Kingdom with son after months in seclusion"

"New Donk City Mayor says people are being too harsh on the Marios"

"Professor E Gadd finds surprising new Ghostbuster"

That last one peaked Lucy's interests. She wanted to just run out there and then truthfully, but she already ran to Yoshi's Island so where else would she run to? Birdo didn't comment on her traumatized gaping. They bought Birdo's groceries with the newspaper.

Lucy truthfully forgot about the Professor. She never visits because the Professor was a little too nutty. The ghosts were just too spooky. Their relationship was largely professional.

Ever since her disappearance from the public eye Professor E. Gadd found a new test subject. Lucy found that for once the papers couldn't be accused of sensationalism.

_Professor E. Gadd is the foremost expert on the paranormal. His experiments with Boos and other ghosts have turned the mythical in the explainable. However for the longest time he was in the shadow of Lucy formerly known as Luigi. She captured the ghosts. It was her most well known exploits. She even rescued her brother Mario from Boos._

Lucy skipped over the paragraphs describing the Professor's recent discoveries.

_The professor feared his work would stall as with Lucy gone he had no way of obtaining new testing material. For ethical reasons he always released Boos after a time. Other times the Boos pass on to the other side. Lucy was never around that often to help anyway due to her phobias. His dearth of materials was depleting fast._

"_I actually knew Luigi was a girl. After taking anatomy and biology in college you know the difference in form from a male to a female. I truthfully didn't care."_

_However, he found a replacement in an unlikely story._

_Empress Margaret of Sarasland, formerly Princess Daisy, came by to visit. _

"_Lui-Lucy always prattled on and on about her ghostbusting adventures to me when she wanted to see brave. I decided in my travels to see the truth of the matter. I visited the eccentric professor of Lucy's little yarn." _

_Professor E. Gadd confirmed the green plumber's stories. He made a move only a nutty professor would make._

"_When E. Gadd asked me to ghostbust for him I agreed. It seemed like fun from the stories and when else am I going to get a chance?"_

_Empress Margaret threw herself at the job with gusto. Professor E. Gadd reports that in one day she broke all of Lucy's ghost busting records. This is only one in a string of achievements in Empress Margaret's travels around the world. Her meteoric adventures have advanced her star and kingdom-_

Lucy crumpled the paper up. She threw it away like a hot coal in her hand.

"You shouldn't litter, girl."

"Birdo, what do you think I should be doing right now?" Birdo surprisingly hasn't addressed the subject at all. All they've been doing for the last few days has been playing video games and watching TV.

"I can't decide that," Birdo shrugged.

"You have to have some opinion."

"I think you need to be true to yourself," Birdo halted.

"I live true to myself everyday. I don't even know what I am to be honest. I think I'm a Yoshi with a birth defect but I can't be sure. All I know is that I'm Birdo so I'm going to be Birdo. If you want to know what you should do then ask yourself what are you. If you are Luigi ask Luigi what you should do. If you are Lucy then ask her." Birdo resumes her trot.

When Lucy first began to cross dress Luigi was meant to be wish fulfillment. She wanted Luigi to be everything she ever wanted to be. Yet her cowardice and timidity remained. She locked herself in her brother's shadow.

She only ever left it to flee the truth. Now it's caught up to her. Mario's shadow is hundreds of miles away. The only thing left is the light.

"I know what I need to do," she was relieved. Her epiphany had arrived.

"Go home?"

"Yes. Is that what you were hoping I'd do or was that a guess?"

"I'll tell you as we pack."


End file.
